Archive for August, 2009

I’ve been listening to this podcast, Inside Out Weight Loss, and there are some positives that I get from it, but half the time I have to wade through 15 min or so to get the 10 min or just one thought that actually helps.

But, I haven’t lost, I haven’t done anything to lose. If anything, I’ve slowly gained some. And yet, every morning I listen to this thing. I guess there are some truths to be found and I do get a point from it. But then I go about my day and forget about it for the most part.
There have been many techniques and internal workings that I have worked on and yet, I must use the food as some sort of coping technique because I keep doing it. How long will I? I obviously know that this isn’t going to do anything for me, if anything it’s like playing Russian roulette. How long before the health starts to deteriorate? And instead of looking back at all the wasted time, I know I should look forward and embrace today, so I will. I was going to write about how difficult it is, but if I write it then I lend that thought validity. And I don’t want to do that as I do believe that what we believe can play a part in our reality.
I really want to set a positive example for my children. They will do what I do, not what I say. I know this.
So, like a child, like a little baby learning how to walk, I stumble. I fall. But I will keep getting back up. Because, just like that baby, eventually, I will be able to take more than a couple of steps at a time. That is what this journey is.

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The week ended just fine. I had a decent day at work, and the she-devil wasn’t too bad today. Have I told you about the she-devil? Well, she’s going to be our new CFO and can definitely be demanding. To the extent of where I get in trouble for not having foresight for events and duties that aren’t within my realm of responsibility. Yesterday was a good day. I didn’t have to use my clairvoyant powers.

I went to bed really early last night. My Friday night date with Bill (Maher that is) will have to occur over the weekend I suppose. I know I’m not the only single gal who does this. I’ve embraced my reclusiveness as you know. But I was so tired, being the first week of school and all, I wound up falling asleep at like 930p or so while I was watching Lewis Black. He is one of my favorites.
My parents are on their way down and will be here this week. I’m going to get chores done around the house this morning before they get here so I can relax guilt free the rest of the weekend. I think my aunt and uncle are going to come down as well.
Food wise, I’m happy to announce that I didn’t (because I went to bed) snack last night. I had to have an important conversation with my son, J. He’s been doing great and is down 12 pounds. I’m very proud of him. Yesterday he bought his lunch at school, and I told him that he could. He also, as he told me later, bought a small ice cream. And then he proceeded to tell me that he felt “guilty” while he ate it and afterward. WHAT!! NO!! I screamed inside. The last thing in the world I want is for my children to endure the struggles internally with food that I have. My mission has to be for them to be normal. I’ve always focused on my daughter that I guess I never realized that it could happen to a boy as well.
I told J, that he shouldn’t have felt guilty that he needed to realize that we need food to live. And that’s it. There are no emotions involved. I asked what else he ate and he ate really healthy the next meal and prior to that meal. I explained that is the way it’s normally done. Do not feel guilty, since you didn’t do anything wrong.
He said he understood. I really hope so. It just makes me realize that the little eyes are watching me. Reinforces the fact that I need to model my behavior the way I want them to be, not just talk it. I need to walk it. Well, I suppose that is something I knew all along. I’ll do this for them.

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Sad Day

Sen Teddy Kennedy passed away. He was one of the first politician’s that I took notice of as a child. My thoughts are jumbled and I don’t have time to sort them out here as I have to get the kids ready for school. Needless to say, it’ll be one of those days.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say later, when I get settled.

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They were ready for the first day of school.

Of course, my son J, didn’t want to take a picture, much less with his glasses so he took them off so I could snap this before we left for school this morning. They both enjoy school so it wasn’t too big of a deal for them to have to go back. My eldest, always made a big deal about it. This was the first year that he didn’t have to go. His adorable girlfriend did though and he had a picture similar to this one. Adorable.
In other random news, I’ve discovered that I am not the queen of run on sentences. Long sentences, yes, but run on sentences, no. This is due to my proper usage of punctuation. Contrary to what some people like to think, my grammar isn’t all that horrible. Or perhaps it’s just getting better. Either way.
I’m off to watch a little West Wing. My date with Josh Lyman awaits.

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Sunday night

Ready to go to bed. The kids start school tomorrow. I was falling asleep earlier and now I’m here writing instead of hitting the sheets.

The kids are ready. I’ve got the lunch packed and they are all set with clothes and supplies. Shy wants to wear her hair straight, so I will get up a little early and let her do this.
My laundry is still on my bed. The folded stuff is put away, but I have to hang up clothes. I’m going to go and do that and then it the sack.

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This is how I spent my day yesterday. Well, part yesterday and part on Friday. I went to a big library sale and I found a lot of books that I wanted. I think I need to put a moratorium on book buying until I at least read 5 books or so. The problem is that they are so cheap. $1 for the hardcovers and $.50 for the paperbacks.

I’m loving my book collection. Obviously, as you can see by the soccer ball, I have no shelves to put them on. I need to go to Ikea I think to get some shelves so I can get them off of the floor.
I’m currently reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. I’ve heard so many good things about this book and it’s gotten great reviews. I’ll be sure to do a review if you are so interested.

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I weighed in today and amazingly I lost a pound. I’ve been much more mindful this past week than I have in a long time and while I know I haven’t been perfect so I’ll accept the loss. I had a great day with my daughter yesterday. Took her to get her hair done as she starts school on Monday. We also went to the library and hung out there for awhile. We both enjoy it and it is a very cost effective way to spend time.
Breakfast this morning was really easy and yummy. Yes, I said yummy, deal with it.

Coffee in my most favorite coffee mug and my breakfast was fat free vanilla yogurt w/a drizzle of honey and some fresh strawberries and half a banana. I also topped it with half a larabar, pecan pie flavored. This clocks in at 300 calories and I was very satisfied with it. I feel so much better when I pay attention to my satisfaction levels so I’m not sure why I don’t do it more often. Oh you know, like all the time, like normal people do.

My plans today include getting J’s backpack for school. I also want to watch that Melissa chick, the winner of the Next Food TV Star, or whatever the title is.
Lunch is going to be a frittata that includes cleaning out my refrigerator. J lost another 2 pounds. He’s down to 10 pounds in like a month or so. I am so proud of him. He’s managed to do it without complaint. I suppose the threat of multiple needle sticks should he develop diabetes helped.
Also have been watching Studio 60. It lasted maybe one and a half seasons on tv. I call it smart tv which is why it went over Joe Q Public’s head. Well, hopefully Aaron Sorkin will come up with a new show soon. He did this one as well as West Wing, possibly the best show ever. My favorite that’s for sure.
I’m off to do laundry. Surely you don’t come here for the exciting life I lead but rather, I’m sure the scintillating prose. LOL!!

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