Archive for July, 2009

That’s what I’m calling it anyway. Since I did have snacks, BUT they were planned snacks and therefore authorized. I’m still working on the *why* I have such a dysfunctional relationship with food, and while I’ve had a lot of insight lately, this is still ever elusive. It can be any number of things but since it’s been going on as far back as I can remember I’m sure it’s some kind of Freudian parental thing. I’ve not always done it, but rather do so in spurts. Or I suppose I should say the times I’ve not done it have been in spurts, because, if I’m honest about it I’ve done it more than I haven’t. But that’s another post.

For this week, I’ve NOT done it two nights in a row. Which feels absolutely fantastic. I embraced my hunger yesterday as well thinking to myself that hunger is a good thing as it’s telling me I’m eating properly. It isn’t an emergency and I’ll get to eat when I get home.
My recluse lifestyle continues. Which suits me perfectly at this time in my life. I finally feel like I’m getting it together.
As August approaches I have some things to look forward to. My mom is coming to visit, my dad will also be here. I’ll probably make a trip to Orlando for the weekend to see my sister and my friend from DC is coming down. All in all a lot to look forward to.
Today’s docket isn’t especially interesting considering that I kept thinking yesterday was Wednesday. Ugh, this just means that this week is one week longer than I realized. Whatever, it’s no big deal other than the fact that I’m at work one more day. Before vaca. Or rather, staycation. I’ll imagine we’ll do some shopping but I also plan on getting in some fun “tourist” stuff for the kids.
I’ve got some thought provoking topics that I want to write some posts about but I’m not sure that the name of my blog is correct if I’m going to start doing that, you know?

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Yesterday morning after getting back from Wal-Mart with Jonathon’s laptop we spent a very lazy Sunday morning doing nothing. Jonathon played with his new laptop and was very excited about it.
Shyanne, as you can see, isn’t happy not being the center of attention. She also isn’t the, “let’s laze around and do nothing” type, but I was able to appease her with reading a book or two to her. I think we read an Eric Carle book. He is one of her favorite authors. I love it that my six year old has several favorite authors, that she can name. I love books and reading so much and it seems that the boys only love to read from the computer. Although they will pick up a book a time or two it seems that they just always find other things to do. Shyanne however, wants to be mini me, so there are many times that we are both sitting around with books in our laps.
I made a quick lunch before we headed out. This was some leftover chili that I had, a mix of spring greens and some cucumber. I topped it off with the shredded monteray jack and a couple of spoonfuls of this wonderfully fresh salsa I had left from my farmer’s market treck last week.
Even the cat was super lazy this Sunday. I made a stop at Goodwill to drop off some stuff and wanted to go into the Goodwill store only to find that it wasn’t there anymore. What the heck happened?? Well, there went one errand, so off I went to the library to drop off some books and pick some more up. Shyanne wound up with a lot more books than I and we rented Marley & Me. Jonathon had read that book and I thought for sure he would want to see the movie but he doesn’t. He explained it this way, “when you read a book, you feel what you are reading. And yes it’s sad, but it’s in your mind. When you watch a movie, you actually see what is happening and so you feel it and see it and that makes it much sadder.” Wise words from a 12 year old.

Dinner was easy. Bubble Up Pizza Casserole with some broccoli thrown in. The kids loved it. I used TVP in lieu of the ground beef. And reduced fat biscuits. You can find the recipe on Heather’s site.

I ended my Sunday in typical fashion, watching Entourage. It’s my Sunday night ritual. That and the Next Food Network Star show. After all day reading Jane Austen, my mind needed a little rest.
Mondays aren’t that bad for me, as I have discussed previously. Right now I’m drinking coffee and then I’ve got to get ready for work. The kids and I have eye Dr. appointments this afternoon and then I get to come home rather than going back to work. I’ve marked out a pilates routine to do and a stability ball routine to do as my exercise for the day. Let’s see if I get it done. I think there’s some kind of self-deprecating joke in the offing here, but I’m only one cup of coffee in so I can’t quite come up with it. Anything I say will sound lame.
In other completely related news. Weigh in is tomorrow. Just another reason to thoroughly hate Tuesdays.

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Early Sunday

The dog doesn’t realize it’s Sunday and her barking was my alarm clock this morning. She wanted to go out and since she didn’t do all of her business last night, I knew that she had to go. So I stumbled out of bed and took her. She rewarded me by promptly doing her thing. I’m up early this morning as I’m headed to Wal-Mart at 8am. They have a Compaq laptap on sale for $300 and I definitely want to see if I can snatch one up for the younger two kiddos. It’ll mainly be my middle son’s but I know that my daughter will want to use it as well.

I know that the name of this is “It’s the Way I Eat Now” but to be truthful there hasn’t been anything to report there. I haven’t been eating the way I should. I am still snacking way too much at night. It’s a binge to me, but it isn’t an all out crazy kind of binge. Hah, even when I am out of control I try to have control. I’ve been thinking of changing the name to accurately reflect what it is that I’m talking about here.
I do need coffee, desperately. I stayed up watching the last two episodes of Nurse Jackie on Showtime and the last Weeds episode. Nurse Jackie is such a funny show. I love it. Edie Falco does an amazing job and really shows her acting skills as this character is so different than Carmela Soprano. Which I also watched the end of Season 4 this weekend. Today, after Walmart I plan on watching some Mad Med, Season 2. I’m also going to make some headway in Mansfield Park and decide on another book to read after that one. It’ll be a light hearted chick lit one I’m sure.

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I follow several blogs and have quite a few friends who are foodies and I have to say I’m quite perplexed by the Greens Phenomenon that seems to be overtake the blog-o-sphere. When I was dating the last boyfriend, he drank greens on a daily basis. But he was, and is for all I know, searching for the fountain of youth. I tried it once, or three times. And wanted to immediately projectile vomit whatever hadn’t been digested yet.

Oh.my.god. That stuff is wicked gross. So, I don’t know why or how others get it down. I mean, I suppose, I know why, it’s got lots of great stuff in it. Call me crazy, I’d rather cook and eat my greens than drink them with milk et al.
This is my personal opinion and in no way reflects that of current management.

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I’ve been out the last week and haven’t written but not because there hasn’t been stuff to tell, but rather because I’ve been so busy that I’ve not wanted to rattle off some half-assed post.

Last weekend was my book splurge weekend. I found lots and lots of book on sale at the various library sales and my used book store.

So, when Shyanne wanted to go to the pool, I grabbed a book and went. Wow, I hadn’t realized how it is has been during the day since I’m inside the majority of the day. Being outside really wilted my energy. That sun is so hot. Sunday was errand day.
During the week, I found out that Jonathon has extremely high blood sugar, borderline diabetic and if he doesn’t get his eating habits, and therefore his weight, under control, he will be one very soon. My 12 year old son therefore, has a prescription to join weight watchers. The Dr. said it is the most sound plan out there and really teaches the right way to eat. Well, duh, I know this. I figure if my Jon can do this, there really is no excuse for me, right?
Well, except I have now started hiding what I eat. Ok, the oldest busted me the other night. Jon comes home tonight and I’m really going to jump on this with him. I can do anything if it’s for my kids.
I’ve got nothing exciting going on this weekend other than dinner tonight with a friend and our kids. We’ll need to pick someplace cheap because I’ve only got about $95 in my weekend budget and I need to get groceries with that. Fortunately, I only need about $40 worth of stuff so I should be ok.
I’ll tell you, I’ve had to really stick to my budget.
I’ve also had some really great insight into what I want to do when I grow up and it involves taking a negative event and turning it into positive action on my part. More to come on that.
Dating wise, I have no prospects and have come to a place where I really don’t want any. This in and of itself is shocking, but I really don’t even go out and about anymore nor do I want to. Not even when I am out doing mundane things do I even think about meeting anyone. I’m at a really good place in my life and I don’t want or need anything different.

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I’ve come to the conclusion that the things I’ve gone through in my life aren’t and don’t necessarily have to be something that I need to learn for my life. Perhaps the things I ‘ve learned and the experiences I’ve had are to ensure that my children are successful and relatively functional. I haven’t always made the best decisions, shocking I know, when it comes to spending time or being maternal. BUT, I always want the best for them and I’ve come to realize that it’s time the gauntlet gets passed.

I will not make the mistakes of my parents and I will play an active, integral role in my children’s lives. If that’s what my life is about then I’m ok with that. Would I like to have a relationship and someone to share my life with. Sure, but I’m thinking that perhaps that is not supposed to come to fruition until I’m done with the main purpose of my life and that’s to get my kids to adulthood and have them be successful. It’s gratification that I’m willing to delay.
I had a pastry for breakfast. I know, not the best choice, but it was there. And that with coffee went down smoothly. I’m off to the library sale and then to some used bookstores and consignment stores. Afterwards lunch with my princess and perhaps a stop at Walmart for some toiletries. I’ll be sure to take pic’s of lunch.
What are some good books you’ve read lately?

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The situation with my schooling has me in a very sad and depressed state this morning. I keep trying to look for positives in this. And I do have some options, they just aren’t what I wanted to do long term. I’ll go to Broward College on Monday to figure out my options, but I’m leaning towards completing the Legal Assistant program. It’s not law school, but it’s something.

It’s amazing to me how they can get away with something that is illegal and unethical. And me, the small man on the totem pole has to be David to their Goliath. I feel like Don Quixote at times. Wow, two literary analogies in one paragraph. I must work on that. Perhaps I’m looking at this the wrong way. This enables me to concentrate on what I really want to do and that is write.

My breakfast today was a replay of yesterday minus the eggs and spinach

Well, the good news is our VP of HR is willing to write a letter to Keiser along with my CFO stating that they did indeed prepay my classes. The Dr Evil Incarnate has said that he would be willing to re-consider his decision if they did this.

I had a great lunch. The company more so that the food. Went to Moe’s and I had the vegetarian quesadilla. I DI NOT EAT THE TORTILLA CHIPS!!!!! This was huge, because I started to mindlessly nibble on them as I was talking with my friend and caught myself after like two. Then we went to Border’s because I needed to get Mansfield Park for my Face-Book club. I got that and this:

I paid $20 for the whole lot of them, so how could I resist. Dr. K may have something to say about it, but still. It’s better than eating the tortilla chips. A couple of them are just books that look to be in the genre that I enjoy. One of them is a book about NASCAR and I’ve wanted to read it for quite some time now. The other, The Family Fortune has on the cover, “a radiant re-telling of Jane Austen’s Persuasion. How in the world could I resist that when it only cost me $3. Besides, I cleared out a shopping bag full of books from my shelves. So, I do have the room. I also resisted getting the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I have wanted to read that book for some time now and two people while I was paying was telling me HOW good that book is. Oy. Maybe my used book store will have it. They sell the books for ½ off the list price. If not, I’ll wait until Border’s gets a 40% coupon. Ooh, but I did just find it on Amazon for $8. Free shipping if I spend $25 or more. I shall deliberate over the weekend. Actually, I’ll see if I can find it for cheaper and if so, then I will get it, if not then sold to Amazon. Er, purchased from. Never mind the auctioneer metaphor doesn’t really fit here.

OMG!!! I just looked up the NI for my quesadilla. Thank fricken God I only ate of that. How the hell was that thing 600 calories. Are you fucking kidding me?????

*****PSA ALERT***** Look up the NI BEFORE you order and eat you r lunch.

I’ll be having celery and carrots sticks for dinner thank you very much to Moe the Bastard.

Right after I have this for a snack.
I couldn’t resist. This was made by one of my coworkers who makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. So I had one.

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